Tiny Devotional for Wednesday, 10-27-2021

A great good morning to all my friends and neighbors in Internet Land! And to family members who have dropped by, keep a sweater in the car.

Better is open rebuke
Than love that is concealed.
Proverbs 27:5, NASB

Painful, but still better than concealed love!

As my nearly-17-year-old Kenneth was leaving for school a moment ago, I quoted this verse to him, WITHOUT providing a context. So, unlike you, Kenneth didn’t know this verse is the one that came next in my daily devotional. He just knows Papa Pat said it as he was walking out the door. I imagine he thinks:

Why is Papa Pat quoting the Bible to me? 
Did I do something wrong? 
Is he crazy?

So: does he mentally file this incident under Open Rebuke, or under Concealed Love?

Which makes me wonder: 

How much of what I do as a father makes sense to my kids, and

Is making sense a worthwhile goal?

Today’s verse answers the last question with: YES!

First of all, “open rebuke” is not advocated here! The Bible is pretty clear that an open rebuke is a LAST step in correcting someone. 

However, it’s still better than concealing love. Therefore, we need to make sense. 

Steps in the logic:

  • Parents love their kids
  • Love forms the basis for parental instructions. 
  • When they ask the reason for that instruction, and
  • We refuse to explain it, 
  • Then we are concealing love. 

Nothing says they have to agree with the reason, or like the instruction! My kids have told me they didn’t WANT to (do whatever). I replied firmly, “I’m not requiring that you like it, only that you do it.” 

Sigh. I guess I have to explain my comment to Kenneth now.

Peace be on your household.


Comments

  1. Bess BlackstoneOctober 27, 2021 at 7:13 AM

    As far as the notification email that goes along with today's devotional, I have to SLIGHTLY disagree. There are some WONDERFUL instances where being able to covertly watch your children in their Natural Environment is just...... Delicious. From finding the baby ripping a book up that might have gotten blamed on one of those Stinkin Rotten Brothers, and being able to gently correct the girl and explain, as much as possible, that ripped up books make Mommy's heart hurt, to seeing the Middle Child who doesn't like ANYONE, ESPECIALLY that stinkin little drooling baby, hold said sticky sister and sing to her and tell her that he loves her..... Those are moments I treasure.

    Praise in public, rebuke in private. This is the way I was raised (thank you Sir) and it's how I strive to grow my own little people. But on the occasions where rebuke must be done openly, I try to ESPECIALLY in those moments let my babies know 1) WHY this is happening and 2) What love has to do, has to do with it (quit singing, we can't hear you). For example, when Laughter the Middle Child decided to not listen to "Please go to the car and put both hands on it, and I'm right behind you" and instead decided to stand in the middle of the driving area of the apartment parking lot, I screamed at him that he was going to get run over and he needed to get back to the car RIGHT FREAKING NOW, and when I was able to get my hands on him, I picked him up and said "Isaac, I can't lose you. I love you so, so much and I don't ever want you to get hurt, and you HAVE to listen to me. When I say hands on the car, you HAVE to put hands on the car. I know you don't want to. But you have to." There was also a tail swat involved, but MOSTLY it was me not concealing my love.

    I don't remember a spanking or a tongue lashing in my childhood that wasn't IMMEDIATELY followed by a hug, an "I love you" and, when appropriate, a talk about what I did, why it was wrong, why, therefore, I was being punished, and what to do differently next time to avoid the same outcome. But I'm blessed more than most people are to have the best parents in the universe, so, sorry everyone, I win.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Moose45RiderOctober 27, 2021 at 9:16 AM

    I feel this is a this isn't an ideal but choosing a screaming baboon vs another screaming baboon that already bit you. If all I got was negative reinforcement I'd be very messed up. At least concealed love can be uncovered.

    ReplyDelete
  3. On Christ the Solid Rock I StandOctober 28, 2021 at 8:29 AM

    Amen my Brother Pat. Open Rebuke is Better than secret love

    ReplyDelete

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